Friday, September 19, 2008

Cleaning Out My Bookmarks Again...

Maybe My Babelfish *Didn't* Fall Outta My Ear In The Taklamakan Desert After All...

[via Betty, the Daniel Jackson of all Grammar Nazis]

Your result for The Absolute Language Test...

The Rain In Spain Stays Mainly In The Plane

61% Eloquent, 57% Well-Versed, 26% So-So, 19% Amateur and 13% Ignoramus!

The statement above is a play on words, I know it's supposed to be "plain." So please no more e-mails about how I spelled it wrong.

You are a master of the art of language! You probably speak more than one language and are very well cultured because of it. You also get annoyed with people who don't use proper grammar and constantly correct them. Give yourself a pat on the back! You're ready for the Embassy Ball!

Take The Absolute Language Test at HelloQuizzy

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Toss Me That Steel Chair, Yah Pencil-Necked Geek!...


1 minute 9 seconds

[via Betty, who even now is escaping whilst I wrestle the beast...]

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

spam poetry (ever o'er post-modernity)

Sirs:
I respectfully submit
parting all reliable treetops
in New Guinea's eighth inverted gorge
however tall
has overtaken very evil reasons
targeting all koala environments
nevertheless
Prussian reality usufructuaries
seem stalled
in a nearly meritorious effort
reigning in
thousands of riotous intransigents
over uncontested states...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

And The Difference Between This And Now Is?...

[via Betty the Tralfamadorian Messenger]

Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam...

Reclusive Artist

49% Intrigue, 66% Civilization, 44% Humanity, 35% Urbanization.

Reclusive Artist


We think we've found a place for you.

Your answers indicate that you're very fond of the fruits of civilization... for example, education and technology. But, in some twist of irony, you're not too fond of the pressures of civilization... you know, human beings and crowds and working together. We found you a place where you could enjoy an erudite existence, live a life that's intriguing and not entirely secure -- but far from the madding crowd.

Removed from civilization and humanity, yet educated and sophisticated, you'll make the perfect reclusive artist... An eccentric that produces irresistibly attractive masterpieces. Your art will make people swoon, and yet you will despise your audience. Your audience will probably dislike you as well, though they will go on admiring your work. So it all balances out, and your patrons will leave you alone to shape beauty in the wild, dangerous parts of the world where people won't pester you so much. Probably, you will write under a pseudonym, and mutter a lot when a rare admirer comes calling. If you feel really adventurous, you can pursue the role of a political dissident.

As you age, you will grow into the role of an incorrigible curmudgeon.

You artists, you're all the same.

Take Reincarnation Placement Exam at HelloQuizzy

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Let Me Explain… No, There Is Too Much. Let Me Sum Up…

Been meaning to write a post updating my poker progress fer *weeks* now, but just never got a round tuit (dernded things are rare, doncha know).

Last I looked, I wuz ranked 870th in cumulative ‘lifetime’ points over on the NLOP (National League of Poker) site –- given that I went back to playing at that site a couple weeks *after* they started keeping track of cumulative poker points, I’m kinda happy with meself ('specially since I wuz 5900-somethingth on the weekly leaderboard the first week I came back -- so I apparently made *some* improvement [grin]...)

(‘Course, I’m even *happier* that a couple of weeks back, I slogged my way thru 700-some folks in one of their week-end championship matches to take *5th* place –- which earned me my first 'non-imaginary' reward of [not cash, sadly, but] a rather-nice-looking leather-bound ‘poker journal’ with lots and lots of nice blank lined pages within -– which I have yet to decide what I’m gonna be using it fer, natch – so far, only idea that comes to mind is using it fer getting autographs from the pros if’n I ever gets meself into the WSOP or a WPT tourney…)

On the other sites, I’m also still just using my ‘play money’ bankroll – but lately I’ve been concentrating mostly on games like HORSE (at Full Tilt), Triple Draw 2-7 (at Ultimate Bet) and something Poker Stars calls the ‘8-Game’: a round of Triple Draw 2-7 followed by a regular 5 rounds of HORSE, then a round of No-Limit Hold’em and a round of Pot-Limit Omaha (and home again, home again, jiggity-jig back to Triple Draw, of course, of course). With enuff patience (and stricter adherence on my part to the Ferguson principles of bankroll management), I should be getting to where my ‘play money’ may yet earn me some *real* money [ah, we can but hope, can’t we?...]

CURRENT 'PLAY MONEY' BALANCES:

Full Tilt Poker: $30,438
as of Oct. 27, 2007: $48,225
highest point between then and now: $54,150
lowest point: $19,413


Poker Stars: $8,722
as of Oct. 27, 2007: $9,097
highest point between then and now: $17,443
lowest point: $8,595


Ultimate Bet: $2,879
as of Oct. 27, 2007: $2,675
highest point between then and now: $3,075
lowest point: $2,375


(Okay, I had some slump issues (mostly betwixt March and June of this year, at least according to the Excel spreadsheet I started back in October and haphazardly try to update whenever I remember to do so [grin]), but I'm much better now...REALLY! [grins some more]... -- oh, and I *am* still planning on posting some hands I’ve been playing on here fer some manner of 'analysis' -- and potential self-ridicule – soon’s I figger out how the Hades I wants ta actually *dooz* it [grins yet again -- oh, no Thorazine fer me, thanx anyhoo...])

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Used To Be A "Geek Code" Meant Someone Sneezing A Chicken Head Outta Their Mouth...

Since Erica brought this back up again, I guess I'll try to do my Geek Code v3.12 *again* [you long-term sufferers...err, I meant *readers*... of mine might remember me having this in the sidebar a long long time ago in a blogspot far far away (OMG, please don't sue me, Mr. Lucas!)...]:

-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.12
GAT d(-) s: a+ C++++$ U- P L? E? W++>$ N-- o? K w+ O? M? V+++ PS+++ PE Y+ PGP?>++ t+(+++) 5++ X++(+++) R(++) tv+>-- b+(+++) DI+(+++) D++ G e++>+++ h--- r+++ y+++
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------

[Fer those of you who want a faster answer than by slogging thru the above yerownself, go to The Geek Code Decoder Page fer the translations...]

It's The End Of The World As We Know It...

[via The International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board]
Urgent update, September 10, 2008
---------------------------------
It is our duty to inform you that as of 7:35:05am UTC on September 10, 2008, the Earth has been destroyed.

The destruction of Earth was first reported by Mr Jonathan Barber of Wisconsin, United States, who spotted that his home-made seismic Earth Detector had ceased to give readings at around 8:00am (2am local time). Several other amateur geocide spotters noticed this at the same time but Mr. Barber was the first to place a telephone call to the IEDAB's Geocide Hotline (+44 115 09Ω 4127, ask for Other Dave) at which point IEDAB officials performed an emergency check of their own instrumentation and verified Mr. Barber's report, as well as fixing the exact time of geocide.

Evidence is still being collated, but preliminary results suggest that the Earth was destroyed pre-emptively by scientists at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN, Geneva, Switzerland, before the commencement of their experiments to locate the Higgs Boson, as a precautionary measure to ensure that the experiment itself could not result in the destruction of the Earth.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Unspectacular, That's What I Am...

I just gotta ask: when did I get such a huge target put on my back, huh? -- now Tess has tagged me fer a meme (I tell yah, the fun never stops around here [grins]...)

The rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. List 6 unspectacular quirks you have.
4. Tag 6 bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each person’s blog to let them know they’ve been tagged.
(Okay, and since yawl know from historical precedent I'm not doing steps #4 or #5, let's just proceed onward...)

Six Unspectacular Quirks About Me:

1. I put my toothpaste on my toothbrush by first measuring out a drab from the tube onto my right ring finger, and then transferring said drab from finger to brush.

2. I hate everything mint-flavored (with the notable exception of dental floss).

3. When putting forks away at home, I separate them into three groups: a) those fer general use; b) those fer feeding pets; and c) those fer scraping out dog dishes. (I am not, however, entirely certain the wife realizes I make this precise categorization.)

4. I did once briefly entertain the thought of having electrolysis in lieu of ever shaving my dernded beard again.

5. I am purposely ending each of these items with a period instead of an ellipsis, *despite* the fact that doing so goes against all my natural tendencies and instincts, and it's getting even more and more difficult with each successive item.

6. I cannot touch the tip of my left thumb to the tip of my left pinky. At all. Right thumb to right pinky, piece of cake. (It has been suggested by some that perhaps I am devolving into a squirrel-like lifeform -- I suppose we shall see...[Oops, there's another ellipsis! Alert the Writing Style Police!...])