I Have *NO* Idea What This Is...

...but I'll mess with it anyhoo*:

http://www.istardom.com/AndrewIronwood



*the motto of both my cooking and my abuse of chemistry sets...

unmoored

unmoored:
not melting
or ossifying --
rather,
eternally departing

for other realms...

And Now A PSA Before We Resume With Our (Ir)Regularly Scheduled Programming...

Beware:

THE CULLING!!!...

(coming soon to a social network near you...)

Don't Let's Be Beastly To The Germans

[a prose poem made entirely from comment spam]

diverticulitis photo DIY water softeners playlist DMV learners permit practice creative memories borderline rulers ideas cream cheese croissant recipe creative ranking writing breezes dark legion continuum deluxe mojo number serial word dent removal Syracuse dark elder codex coffee pot replacement parts demographics of golfers desperate housewife curtain panel dash results breed bully Chicago rescue breastfeeding for large breasted women breast pump enlarger breeding age for Labrador retriever...

SPAM SONNET

little gold plated Finns
with all the other frogs
chest pains chasing you?
get them off the track

get rewarded by
a perfect night life
make her grotto wet
and hungry for love

help your body
to build itself
with magnesium oxide
but question is --

why him?
the best...

...so then Miles asks me: "What KIND of elephant?..."

azures cyans ceruleans
fall gracelessly
from the darkening heavens

spatter-pattern Rorschach
of my cerebral cortex
hangs on the kitchen wall
like a bad knock-off Pollock...

Testing, Testing... Is This Mike Still On?...

...so apparently it's been so long since I've written a real post here that someone out there decided to report Cranberry Flags as a 'spam' blog [there are levels of irony in there even *I* hesitate to explore, of course, of course...] -- the fact that I'm still here tells you I made the proper sacrifices to the Blogger Gods and am still at the helm, running the show, Chairman of the Board, the Big Kahuna, the Alpha and Omega...

(Superego: Actually, I don't think this kind of talk is going to keep someone from flagging you again...)

(Id: Shaddup and just lemme drive!!!...)

...err, um, anyhoo: for the benefit of those of you who don't follow me on Twitter (and frankly, what the heck is wrong with you? -- too GOOD fer Twitter or something? Huh? Yeesh!...), the last couple of weeks have had my attention directed toward my oldest dog, Daisy -- who, at the age of ten-something (we're guessing, since she wuz a rescue), decided (for reasons undetermined) to pick a fight with the nasty dog down the street who's chained to their front porch 90% of the time -- she left the encounter with three large bites taken out of her from between her shoulders, leaving a gaping hole 20cm across (according to the clinic report) -- she had two operations to stitch and staple everything back together, plus had to fight off an infection in the wound besides -- and between her age and her borderline-obesity, we were worried aboot her prognosis fer a spell there -- thankfully, the doc says she's fine now, the stitches and staples have all been removed, and she's got a nice long (albeit perfectly healthy-looking) scar as her 'lovely parting gift' -- needless to say (and despite Daisy's *continued* attempts to the contrary [sigh]), the block where that mean ol' chained-up dog lives is now completely OFF-LIMITS fer both our dogs' walking routines...