Fiftyplussomething lifelong Ohioan (except for those four years in Indiana, but we shan't speak of that again). Third-generation Finnish-American on my mother's side, INTJ, Aquarius (Scorpio rising), semi-retired semi-pro musician (currently surviving as a temp), wanna-be shaman/magician, underdiagnosed autistic, freak flag flyer, perpetual student, metaphorical tightrope walker, and polypseudonymical aspiring would-be raging inexorable thunderlizard evangelist prone to strange wordplay (esp. bad puns) and odd twitchinesses ...
The author of this blog does hereby affirm and assert that, while this blog may have been manufactured
on the same factory equipment as some non-fictional works (and thus may contain some particulate smattering of reality),
the U.S. Surgeon General has determined that the truth-value of any randomly selected subsection of this blog
is fully indeterminate in the Schroedingerian sense with regard to its speed, location, or spin.
Therefore, this blog and its contents should be considered a work of fiction
(after all, that's how its author views it -- and his life --
in fact, you really should consider the author a work of fiction as well...).
The opinions expressed herein may well be a fig in the eye of Sir Isaac Newton in your alternate reality,
and should not be used as a load bearing instrument or a counterpoise.
Any resemblance to any person or persons living or dead, real or imaginary, is purely a product of your whiskey-bent & hell-bound imagination
and does not necessarily represent the belief system of this blog, its author or the Archdiocese at any point in the known spacetime continuum.
Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the words and/or images from this blog without the express written consent of the author
or Major League Baseball is immoral, fattening, and known to be hazardous when used with asbestos-based building materials.
All warranties are neither implied nor inferred, so get a kung-fu grip on yo' bad self already.
Void whereever prohibited by law, treaty, tribal customs, or latest Interstellar Concordance.
Do not expose to ultraviolet light, gamma radiation or cosmic rays. Keep cool; process promptly.
Post no bills. Bill no posts. Bury me not in ole Virginny.
The preceding has been brought to you by the letters Q and W and the number 32767.
Most rights reserved under one of my aliases assigned to me
by the New World Order as part of the Amish Witness Relocation Program.
No salesmen or Klingons will call. Can you dig it? I knew that you could.
All bets are off, the cows have fled the barn, and Elvis has left the building.
Failure to take any of the above with an appropriate number of grains of salt may result in psychic whiplash,
and my personal imaginary psychic law firm says that that would (in its entirety) be your own dernded fault...
"Yes! I am invincible!" -- Boris Grishenko, Goldeneye (1995)
"I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful, one hundred percent!" -- Horton, Horton Hatches the Egg (Dr. Seuss)
"Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone." -- Robert Allen
"Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone." -- Kurt Vonnegut
"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." -- Mahatma Ghandi
"When you are in love, you're still being shown how little you know."
-- Minnie Driver
"The spirit only becomes free when it ceases to be a prop." -- Franz Kafka, The Great Wall of China
"I FEAR NO MAN and I FEEL NO PAIN!!!" -- Big Van Vader
"I can't go on, I'll go on." -- Samuel Beckett, The Unnamable
“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.” -- Mother Theresa
"Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem." -- Woody Allen
"Resolve to do one thing every day that you fear." -- Timothy Ferriss
"I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around -- because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks." -— Emo Philips
"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." -- Dick the Butcher, Henry VI (William Shakespeare)